There are so very many friends out there who have had a rough season way beyond what they thought they could ever bear (“bare” seems more fitting). Loss of a child. Chronic Illness. Addictions that won’t go away in them or their loved one. Medical diagnoses they never saw coming. Loss of parent that is no longer here, and some that are, but aren’t. Shattered Dreams. Relationships lost. This post is for you, and for me, and for us. I don’t have answers or simple sayings. I just want you to know that…. I see you.
I see the look in your eyes. I see the grief, and the pain. I see it. Even when I don’t. Even when you hide it so well.
And I don’t want you to have to hide it …any of it. I know that you feel like all you can to is just try to hang on…minute by minute… This season doesn’t define you. You have nothing to prove in terms of how strong you are or aren’t. Nope, times like these can’t be boxed up and labeled and defined. Not at all.
Am thinking that grief has lots of colors and shades and shapes and looks different on everyone. And there’s no perfect way to navigate the path that grief takes for each one. And those who see those colors and shapes and shades…well, lots of times we don’t know how to navigate being in there any more than those in grief now how to navigate the pain..
Some journeys are similar, but none, none are the same. And the sad truth is that sometimes when we need people the very most, we just want them to go away. It’s just too much. We think they won’t understand. And maybe they won’t. But tearing down the facades that build walls can be a beginning.
So as the holidays approach that seem to bring grief and memories to the surface, I want you to know that I see you. I want to walk in it too. Sometimes it’s just good to have people with us along for the ride, no matter how difficult the navigation…or turbulent the tide.
And then sometimes there come waves of joy and laughter and grateful grace that come out of nowhere and leave as quickly as they came. I want to laugh with you during those times. To celebrate with you the blessings and remind you that it’s just as okay to laugh as it is to cry…just as okay to be thankful as it is to grieve.
I just want to remind you that you’re not alone, and that even though this journey has parts that only you can face, that there are people who want to get in there…but may not know how. Me, for instance. Sometimes I just don’t know how to get in there. I so believe in prayer…that God can fill in the gaps where we could never hope to. And I’m praying. And I’m awkwardly sharing truths as I see them and there’s an open door. But I see in part…and feel in part. I haven’t walked in your shoes. But I see you. I do.
Maybe grace comes in as we stop trying to hold on so tight and “do grief right”, and let go. Maybe I need to let go of some things to. My fear of hurting you more by opening up wounds even more just as they’re beginning to heal. Or saying too much or too little. Those are some of my fears.
So is sounding so lofty. I’m not lofty…I’m right here right now in this world and want to be in the mess with you too, but lofty isn’t who I am even if me fumbling through my words might appear that way. Kind of hard to navigate this new territory. Nope, no loftiness here,…I just want to meet you where you are…and sometimes moving forward is scary because I don’t know if you want me to meet you where you are. I know there are times we all need to walk alone. I just want you to know that I’m here, and I see you, I do.
I want to remind you that you’re not alone. Even in the darkest hour, you’re not alone. He sees you. And He knows you, all of you and where you’ve been and where you haven’t and what you’ve said and what you haven’t, and what you believe and what you don’t. He sees you. And He L O V E S you. And nothing, NO THING, can separate us from that love. That’s what the Bible says. When the fog of grief settles in and surrounds, I hope that that truth can be a candle that burns brighter and brighter in your heart and warms you with the awareness that He sees you. It sure did for me. (He saw me , too)….and I see you. I do.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
“This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.”
I John 1:5